Do You Know Jack?

Do You Know Jack?


For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt?
We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, ‘You don’t know Jack

Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an
intellectual way.

Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer
magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple
produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.

Against her parents’ objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt,a
high  school dropout. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt
divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and
because her kids  were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous
name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.

Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a
rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six
children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout
childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony.
The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials.

The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse.  Bull Schitt, the
prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He  recently  returned from Italy
with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.

Now when someone says, ‘You don’t know Jack Schitt,’ you can correct them.


Crock O. Schitt